Shit You Can Drink

Telling my clients not to drink is, basically dumb AF because I know they're gonna drink. So here's what I'm going to tell you: Drink this shit instead.

Under 70 calories

Vodka and Sparkling Water

Vodka and Sparkling Water

Rum and Diet Coke

Rum and Diet Coke

Gin and Tonic

Gin and Tonic

A Shot of Anything

A Shot of Anything

Under 105 Calories

A Light Beer

A Light Beer

Sangria

Sangria

Drop It Like It's Hot!

I like it when you drop the weights and this is why:

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It's empowering as fuck.

We don't always get a lot of opportunities to just make some fucking noise and unleash our beast mode. Dropping the weights and hearing that big thundering sound doesn't just sound cool. It feels cool. Like, really fucking cool. It gives you that sense of like, "Yeah I'm a bad ass. I just lifted that shit" and not in a bro-y or douche-y kind of way, but more in a "I'm feeling strong and unfuckable within a world that's always fucking with ME!"

Yeah, it can be a little loud and sometimes a little intimidating, especially for newbie gym people. Still, I think it's an important thing to teach members not just because of safety reasons (sometimes the best thing to do is get the fuck outta the lift and just safely drop it), but also because it's our duty as your coaches to strengthen you not only physically, but fucking spiritually too. 

So go on and not only lift that shit, but "drop the mic" on 'em! 

Source: the queer lgbt gym

When's The Best Time To Work Out?

Morning Workout Perks

  • Other responsibilities will not get in the way of your workout.
  • Morning workouts wake you up.
  • They also help you sleep better at night.
  • Cortisol, the stress hormone that also stores fat peaks in the AM, so a good morning workout will combat its effects. 
  • Working out first thing in the morning on an empty stomach can burn up to 20% more body fat (but be sure to eat within an hour of finishing your workout). 

Evening Workout Perks

  • Body temp is important and your body temp is the highest in the evening, which means your body is nice and warm instead of cold and stiff in the morning. This is good to know if you have injuries or mobility issues. If you work out in the morning, you gotta be hella warm.
  • Reaction time is the highest and heart rate and blood pressure are the lowest in the PM, which combined together improve performance and minimize injury.
  • Your body produces more testosterone in the PM, which is better for strength training.
queer gym

The point

The bottom line is find a realistic and consistent workout schedule no matter what time. Pro tip for AM Workout people: Don't fuck around with the warm-up. Pro tip for the PM people: Treat your workout as an unbreakable appointment. Now browse our schedule and book them workouts! 

Suck At Accountability?

queer gym

The problem with gyms, working out, fitness, getting our shit together, etc., is ACCOUNTABILITY. We don't all necessarily need it, but we all do better with it. We get that. You join a gym anddddd then you don't come--but you keep paying every month. That's whack.

We don't want that. We don't want to just take your money and never train you. That's not a good transaction for us. We want to see your ass each week at the gym. That's MUCH more fun! So here is how we go about accountability: 

Every week we run a report. That report shows who has not been to the gym in the last 2 weeks. If your name pops up on that list and we don't know where you're at, i.e. traveling, sick, then we start to....

  • call you
  • text you
  • facebook you
  • tweet you
  • go to bars, find you, and bring your ass back here.

YEAH! Like that! LOL. This is part of the reason that 96% of our members actually come to the gym every week. Sometimes life just gets the best of us and our self-care is the first thing to go out the window, so a little reminder to get your ass to the gym goes a long way for our members. 

Insider scoop: Most gym business models are built on the fact that you're not going to be coming to the gym. And in fact, they DON'T call you in fear that they'll remind you that you're paying for something you're not even using and their phone call will prompt you to cancel. We're the complete opposite of that. So if regular gyms in the past haven't worked for you, chances are you might just need a little accountability. We got that for you. All you gotta do is come get it now.

Book your First Visit Now.

Who Comes Up With The Class Names?

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I do!

This is a question I often get asked because our class names are a little ridiculous. The class names? Well, mostly I come up with them, but some of them came from shenanigans during classes. 

For example in our So Knotty class—a foam rolling class that can hurt like hell if your muscles are tight—you hear a bunch of groaning and moaning and things being said like, “Oh shit! Right there,” “that hurts so good,” and “go harder.” Naughty = KNOT-ty, get it? I mean it sounds more appealing than “deep stretching class.” Boooring!

I don't want to name my classes some corny-ass, over-used name like “buns and guns.” Been there, done that and that's cheesy AF. 

 

 

 

What's A Class Workout Like?

So here's what to expect in an actual class:

Intro

We get around in a circle and go around sayin' our name and preferred gender pronoun (she, him, they, etc.), and then the trainer comes up with some silly-ass ice-breaker question to get us to know each other a little better and get the party started riiiggght!

 

 

 

 

Workout  

The workout will vary depending on which class you take, but regardless of which class you're taking, these things will never vary.  

  • The workouts will always be designed in the middle so you can scale up or down depending on your level.

  • Modifications will always be available, just ask us for one. Don't be shy.

  • One thing to focus on here since you're new to the gym is to find your sweet spot, a.k.a. the middle ground of kicking ass and getting your ass kicked. Once you do, you'll know how hard to push yourself in your workouts. 

 

The cool-down

Never, ever, ever, just ditch the cool-down. The cool-down should be taken just as seriously as the warm-up and the workout. Most injuries happen right after the workout, and that's because people just straight out ditch the cool-down!! So don't ever ditch it, okay? Promise? During the cool-down, we foam roll and we take you through some stretching. We also tell you about the latest events and FYI's going on! 

 

 

 

So there you go! Now go on and book some classes

What's A Group or Private Workout Like?

The Consult

We're going to start with a few questions each time:

  • How are you? We wanna know how you're feeling overall? Tired? Stressed? Great? 
  • Are you sore? If you're sore, we want to let it rest and work on something else.
  • When do you work out next? We wanna make sure that if, for example, you're scheduled to take Oakland Booty tomorrow, we don't work out your legs today.

 

The Warm-Up & Workout

Based on your answers to the previous questions, our Coach will design your workout and take you through the proper warm-up. During the warm-up, our goal is to get your joints, muscles, and heart rate ready for action. 

Based on your answers to the previous questions, we will customize the workout.

 

The Cool-Down

We're going to take you through a cool-down that may consist of foam rolling, lacrosse-ball rolling, and/or passive stretching. We want to ensure you're mobile the next day. 

Book your next workout here.

What To Do When You Start Getting Dizzy?

You finally got to the gym, but now you're about to pass out. You start feeling dizzy, but you're also trying to tough it out. You don't wanna wuss out. You keep going, but now you're starting to see those little white spots. So you go to the trainer and you say, "I'm feeling dizzy."

First of all....know that you're not the first person this has happened to and you're def not the last Also, this shit is common. Hellooooo? You've been sitting on your ass for a while and both you and your body are like, "WTF is this exercise shit?!" 

Also, this is important: There is no fucking shame in this. No one. I mean NO ONE in here is judging you. If anything, we're encouraging the fuck out of you because believe it or not, we've all been there. We all got our ass kicked during the first workout, hell....during the first month! We got chu'. We love you and no fucking way we are gonna let you pass out.

Here's what to do:

 

1. Lie on your back with your feet on the wall.

This will get the blood to your head and help the dizziness go away. Take your time. No one's gonna say, "ain't nobody got time for that." In fact, we got all the time in the world.....<3

2. When you are ready to get up...DON'T!

Get up slowly. We just spent all that time on the floor getting blood a.k.a. oxygen to your brain and then you go stand right up!!! That shit is going to make you hella dizzy again. Deep, slow breaths...

3. Sit up slowly and chill

Spend as much time sitting and chilling as you did lying down. Let the blood flow and gravity do its thing. Deep, slow breaths...

4. Stand up slowly and chill

Again, stand up slowly and chill until you feel 100% better :)

See?! You didn't die! :)

Kicking Ass vs. Getting Your Ass Kicked

The most difficult part of your first 30 days is finding your sweet spot a.k.a. your threshold a.k.a. the middle point between kicking ass in your workouts and your workouts kicking your ass... and it can be a total mind-fuck.

Yeah, you finally stopped thinking about it....you signed up for the gym and feel hella excited. Then you come in for your first workout and get your ass handed to you. You were sore for days and this is where the mind-fuck begins...

You didn't realize how badly out shape you actually are. You start to doubt yourself. And how you manage this mind-fuck will tell a lot about your overall success trying to get back in shape.

Some people come in here as former athletes and find themselves humbled after that muscle memory they were counting on left them hanging. Sometimes we get that 30-year-old who realizes they're not in their 20s anymore. People who are new to working out freak out when they realize what working out is actually like. In general, everyone walks out of their first workout feeling challenged and realizing that we, as your trainers, aren't fucking around. We're here to make this happen, but before we do, YOU need to find your threshold. 

What's a threshold?

It's the sweet spot between getting your ass kicked and feeling like you kicked ass! 

Only you can find the threshold. Not your trainer. We can't feel what you are feeling and we don't know what your comfort levels are with soreness. We have some clients that like to feel HELLA sore the next day. We have some that don't. Everyone is different and that is why you, yourself, have to be able to know what your threshold is.

OMG! Once you do, you're money and it's on and crackin'!!!

Once you know how much to push yourself, how heavy to lift, how fast to run, how much stretching you actually need, you learn that your only competition is your damn self. You learn not to compare yourself with others who are on their own fitness journey. Instead you learn that our community is here to support your lifestyle changes, not compete with you.

If you can (1) find your threshold, (2) be consistent in your workouts, and (3) have a fucking blast, then you are set up for success. 

So good luck in your first 30 days...Don't let the soreness "mind-fuck" you. Be determined to find that threshold and kick ass!